


Local Cat Burglar Stealing Hearts of Victims

by ACatWhoWrites



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Cats, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-08-25 02:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16652323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACatWhoWrites/pseuds/ACatWhoWrites
Summary: Minseok's cat has a bad habit of sneaking into other apartments and stealing underwear, and her latest target is the cute guy who lives at the end of the hall.





	Local Cat Burglar Stealing Hearts of Victims

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #: 69  
> Author's Note: Obviously influenced by that [famous Kiwi cat](https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/this-cat-steals-mens-underwear-and-socks-from-neighbors-w199885/).

Nothing suggested an apartment would change his life so drastically, yet here he is—standing in his kitchen with his hands up his boyfriend's shirt while his cat weaves around his ankles and cries softly for attention.

It's not his first apartment. That was a tiny studio he'd taken over the lease to after a falling-out over with his college roommate about standards of cleanliness.

It's not even his second apartment, which was just a bedroom in a small house in Europe owned by a sweet lady whose own children were grown and all moved out.

This is his third apartment, carefully selected due to its proximity to his workplace and public transportation and for its attractive neighborhood. The lawn is cared for every other week by a hired service. The apartment buildings themselves are L-shaped and built so they form a square around a courtyard with tables, gardens, charcoal grills, and a swimming pool. Both buildings host sixteen apartments—eight lofts and eight ranch styles. 

Minseok's loft is on an end facing the street. There's no included parking, which suits him fine, and no laundry, but he befriends a downstairs neighbor who allows him to use the washer and dryer in the ranch apartment. He doesn't mind the restrictions of only three unrelated adults living together and no dogs or exotic pets, but several months into his lease, he gets the distinct feeling of loneliness.

He considers himself to be friends with some of his neighbors and even with some of his neighbor's friends. He shares a commute with the boyfriend of his next door neighbor, and they all meet for drinks on Fridays.

It's just not the same as having someone at home, with him. Instant company.

Fish aren't the most interactive pet. Dogs aren't allowed, and he's not a big dog person, anyway.

So he looks up cats.

And he adopts a long-haired kitten, naming her Tan.

That's really the start of his life-altering journey.

 

Tan is affectionate and lovey, warming up to Minseok faster than he warms up to her. Since childhood, he's been nervous around cats. Tan's long, glossy fur is just so tempting, though, and even with the knowledge that her clever little claws have already shredded her sisal rope cat scratcher, Minseok scratches her chin and down her belly in just the way she likes, although he learns to only indulge her for a couple of minutes.

He looks forward to her company every night, occasionally skipping out on drinking with friends to have a night in with Tan, playing with her growing collection of toys or just cuddling in bed. Never in his life did he ever see himself so in love with a cat, but Tan is very special.

As she grows up, she expresses just how special she is by presenting her human with gifts.

Intimate gifts.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the first one to pick up on her habit. His neighbor's boyfriend, Joonmyun, is over to watch a soccer game and accidentally knocks the TV remote to the floor after a particularly enthusiastic cheer. The plastic backing pops off, sending the batteries rolling, so he gets on his hands and knees to retrieve them.

One rolls into a corner between a pair of bookshelves standing together. Joonmyun feels fabric and pulls out black trunks with gold, satin printed teddy bear faces and three black cotton socks.

Minseok isn't paying attention, focused on the players onscreen. 

“...Hyung?” They don't suit Minseok, in his opinion, but underwear is underwear. “Why is your underwear under the bookshelf?” Tan meows and walks back and forth beneath Joonmyun's chest, dragging her tail and rubbing his arm with her cheeks as she purrs.

“What?” Minseok turns his head a little but doesn't avert his gaze from the TV.

“Your underwear and socks are under the bookshelf.”

Finally, Minseok looks away and frowns at the clothing. He doesn't recognize any of them. “Those aren't mine...”

Joonmyun's eyebrows rise in such a way that Minseok just knows he's jumping to conclusions. “Hey, man, everyone's entitled to a wild night or two...” He retrieves the final battery and replaces the backing on the remote.

“Those are not mine, and I don't know whose they are.” He pauses the game and gets up to grab a plastic shopping bag from the pantry. “Just put them in here. I'll...figure it out.” Tan swats at the socks hanging from Joonmyun's hand and follows Minseok when he hangs the bag on a hook beside his front door.

“That's bizarre. Maybe they were always there.”

“Couldn't be. I brought those shelves and cleaned everything before moving in.”

Joonmyun hums and unpauses the game.

Minseok didn't think much about it. The bag hangs by his door for a while until he decides to do laundry, and he adds the unfamiliar articles to the pile. Tan walks out with him, chipped and collared and enjoying exploring around the apartments. He opens the main door for her and goes to his friend's to wash his clothes and sheets.

When he returns to let her back inside, she's waiting at the door with a dark blue sock at her feet. Seeing Minseok, she stands up and trills happily, arching her back in a body-quaking stretch.

“Tan, where did you get that?” he asks as he opens the door. The cat saunters inside, fluffy tail high like a banner, and rubs against his legs one way, pausing to stare at something down the hall, and then the other way, pausing to grab her sock. “Uh, no, baby. I'll take that.” She doesn't seem to mind, sitting with her tail over her feet and looking at him in such a way that he's sure she's gauging his reaction.

When he had researched cats and cat breeds, he read that Norwegian Forest Cats are very strong climbers, so he worried about his curtains—which she's been good about leaving alone, after being sprayed with water a couple times—or finding little corpses strewn about.

He never anticipated his furchild would choose a life of crime and steal his neighbors' clothes.

Joonmyun ambles up the cement walkway and stoops to pet Tan's head. “Hey, hyung. Oh, no...” He spots the lone sock and smiles crookedly. “Tan find another victim?”

“Apparently,” Minseok sighs. “I'll just...add it to the rest, I guess.” He whistles, and Tan heads for the stairs, looking over her shoulder to be sure he's following.

Joonmyun looks a door down the opposite end of the hall. “Hey, is Jongdae home?”

“No. He gave me a key, so I could use his washer and dryer.”

“I'll text him.” He nudges Minseok's laundry basket of meticulously folded clothes. “You wanna go out tonight?”

“Maybe another night.” Joonmyun pouts. “Just have a night out with your girlfriend.” They can only be a buffer for so long before he breaks down and proposes. “I already have plans.” Tan mews from the top of the stairs.

His plans for the day include cleaning, again, because his robotic vacuum is having repairs done—poor thing can't keep up with all of Tan's hair—and then a nice dinner for two. Tan's great company and has excellent manners, although Minseok does scold her when she finishes eating and walks across the table to sit on his lap.

 

While Minseok is dealing with the knowledge his cat is a burglar terrorizing the community, he has no idea that one of Tan's victims is fully aware of her thievery and not only condones it but encourages it.

Jongin lives on the opposite end of the same apartment building as Minseok. His loft is particularly lonely, since dogs aren't allowed. His poodles are living with his parents. He has an aquarium of fish and pretty aquatic plants. The bubbling filter and soft light are soothing to him, and he often falls asleep on the sofa nearby rather than up in his bed.

That is to say, he's often too tired to make it up more than one flight of stairs after class and collapses on the nearest horizontal, soft surface. It just so happens to be his sofa near the fish tank.

When he first meets Tan the cat, he's relaxing on a weekend off. He's just used up an entire can of sanitation spray after getting over a cold, leaving the patio door open to air out the dust and smell of cleaner, and is ready for a nap.

Jongin stretches out with a whine, legs far off the arm at a position that will probably leave his feet tingly with a pins-and-needles sensation. He's mid-yawn when he hears a strange jingle.

Lifting his head, he looks around and spots an intruder over the back of the sofa. A large, fluffy cat he vaguely recognizes crouches low. He's positive he recognizes the teddy bear underpants held in its teeth.

“Hey!”

Spooked, the cat turns and streaks out of the room, slipping through the barely open patio door and leaping from the balcony, crash landing on a bush and bending a branch to the grass like it was meant to do that.

Jongin leans over the balcony railing, dumbstruck. 

Does he try to follow the cat?

Does he wait?

Does he pretend it never happened?

It's technically theft... Can he even call the police? 

He can't help the breathy laugh over the thought of explaining the cat burglar to the cops.

At the end of the day, he supposes, it's just a pair of underpants. He has more.

But the cat comes back.

She steals a sock.

A few days later, he spots her trotting across the grass with some other poor soul's sock in her teeth, head held high so she doesn't trend on the dangling ends.

Taemin, his friend since forever, stands beside him with a bemused expression.

“Cat burglar, huh?”

“Yeah. She took my underwear and a sock last couple times she was here.” It's an odd way to flirt, but she has his attention.

“Why not shut the door?”

Jongin shrugs. It's kind of funny. He wonders what the owner thinks of their cat's stealing.

His other friends don't believe him when he tells them about the pilfering puss. Not even Taemin's witness is enough to convince them.

For a long while after his sock is stolen, he doesn't see the cat. Or, when he does, she's a ways away and napping or on someone's lap. Obviously not breaking and entering.

He doesn't miss his lost underpants or sock; he replaces the underwear and just lets the remaining solo sock sift to the bottom of his small collection of socks. He doesn't wear them often, anyway. There's a curiosity when he thinks about it, because what if the cat graduates to bigger things? What does one even do with their pet's stolen treasure? There haven't been any signs that Jongin's noticed, advertising miscellaneous clothing or anything like that.

The novelty of the mystery has almost worn off when he sees the cat again. Inside, this time, lording over the front lawn from a second-story apartment.

Jongin and Sehun are heading to Jongin's apartment to drop off their dance clothes and head out for food. Jongin looks up at his building, just because, and pauses. Sehun walks into his back, catching his waist and apologizing. “What're you doing?”

Jongin points to the window. “Look at that massive cat.”

“What cat?”

“Corner apartment.” The cat has a leg straight up in the air, grooming its foot. 

Sehun squints and picks out the window with a large, fluffy cat in the window. “Wow. That is one fluffy cat...”

“That's the cat that broke into my apartment.”

“Seriously? You're still telling that story?”

“It's not a story! It really happened, and unless this neighborhood has a lot of massive cats, it's gotta be her...”

Sehun rolls his eyes and squints at the cat again. “Well, that's obviously your floor, so the the owner must be a neighbor. Maybe you can get your stuff back.”

“ _Sehun!_ ” Jongin hisses, smacking his shoulder. “Stop staring!”

“What's the big deal? No one's home—” The cat looks over her shoulder and stands up, tail high, to greet the person whose hand appears in the sunlight to rub her head. “Oh, my bad—” Jongin's dragging him to the main door before whoever is petting the cat can look outside and spot them.

Should he approach them about their cat? What if it's not their cat? Maybe he's totally wrong, and it's a different cat. The owner may have no idea about their pet's thieving habits. He shouldn't be this worried.

But he's also very curious.

He decides to set a trap. While watching TV, he leaves his door open a crack; lots of people do to air out their apartments or let friends and family in easier.

He almost misses the cat. Surveillance is boring, and he's nearly asleep when he notices a barely perceptible movement in the corner of his eye.

His door is opening.

A tiny jingle is the only other sound as the cat slinks to the laundry basket of clothes he set by the stairs leading up to his loft bedroom.

Cautiously, he rolls to his feet and meets the alert yellow eyes of the cat burglar.

He throws a pillow to the door, shutting it with a bang before the cat can escape. It turns tail and slithers beneath his sofa. Jongin lies down, feeling bad. He didn't want to scare it, and he says so. The cat's eyes are round, but it doesn't shy away when he offers his hand, gently touching his fingertips with its nose before dragging a whiskered cheek along them.

Shoving his whole arm beneath the sofa, he pulls the cat out and grabs it before it can bolt again. Some quick scratches and long pets down its spine, and it settles in his arms.

“You know you've caused me a lot of trouble, right?” he scolds lightly. “Stealing things, especially underwear... What do your parents think?” Nothing much, if he can trust the calm purrs.

“Jongin?” Someone knocks at his door. “Are you okay?”

Jongin stands, cradling the cat, and opens the door to his neighbor's boyfriend, Joonmyun. “Yeah. I didn't mean to slam the door.”

“You scared me!” Joonmyun laughs. He eyes the cat and smiles. “Tan! What are you doing here?”

“You know this cat?”

“Yes; she belongs to my friend. He lives on the opposite end of the building. Corner facing the street.” Jongin's ears flush pink. So it was this cat he saw in the window. He's seen that neighbor. Every morning, for as long as the pool is open, he's swimming laps in the morning.

Joonmyun's smile softens, more sympathetic. “She's been stealing your...stuff, hasn't she?” Jongin blushes. “If you go talk to Minseok, he'll return whatever she took. He's just been collecting it. I suggested putting up signs or something for people to come if they're missing clothes.” He scratches Tan's chin. Jongin can feel her purr and tries not to laugh at the brush of fur against his bare abdomen. “Would you like me to come with you?”

“No, it's okay. I'll...I'll do it.”

He pats Jongin's arm like a caring aunt. “His name is Kim Minseok, and he is very nice. I think he should be home. Tan's not out if he's not home.” Jongin grabs his keys from the table his fish tank sits on and closes the door, keeping an arm securely beneath the limp cat. “Sure you don't want me to come with?”

“I'm sure. Thank you, though.” They part ways in front of the apartment of Joonmyun's girlfriend. Tan leans just enough to see through the closing door but doesn't squirm to be let down.

Jongin stands outside Tan's apartment for a minute or two, rehearsing what he's going to say.

 _Hi. Your cat's taken some of my things. I'd like them back._ Simple. To the point. Keep a neutral tone, and he won't come off angry or offended and not like a pushover, either.

He hears a muffled response through the door when he knocks. Tan reaches for his hand, gently grabbing it with her claws to pull towards her belly. The feel of her fur reminds him that he never changed out of his lazy-day crop top and sweatpants.

Running back to his apartment would seem rude, though, now that the door's open, and Tan meows a greeting.

Jongin forgets his words entirely, becoming shy and stupid.

“Where did you find her?” Minseok reaches for Tan, who crunches in half and lets herself be lifted to her human's shoulder.

“Uh—she was in my apartment...going through my laundry...” he mumbles and wishes he could look Minseok in the eyes, but he looks at the space between their feet.

“ _Again_ , Tan?” The cat squeaks when tapped on the nose. “I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do about her. Do you want to see if anything she's taken is yours?” He steps aside to allow Jongin into his apartment. “I've kept what she's brought home and figure everyone probably knows it's her by now, so they can come whenever.” He lets the cat hop onto the sofa and pulls a bin from the floor of the closet. “Everything's been washed and sorted by size.” A piece of cardboard divides socks and underwear. Most of it appears to be men's clothing, although a lacy red bra sits by itself in a corner.

Jongin carefully picks through the bin, trying to hide his bear underpants—and a pair of pink ones he didn't realize he was missing—in his hand.

“Has she always been like this?” he asks, to fill the static between them.

“She's barely a year old, so I suppose so.” Minseok sighs and rubs a hand down Tan's back. “I'm not sure if I should just keep her inside or what. She hadn't brought anything new home in a while.” He flicks her tail when she turns to jump to the floor and adds, “That I'd found, anyway.”

“Well, I guess I know where to look if anything else goes missing.”

“I really am sorry. Could I buy you a coffee or something, sometime? To apologize?” He looks over Jongin's shoulder when he asks, probably just as embarrassed to be the host of stolen underwear as Jongin is, having his underwear stolen.

“Sure.” He fiddles with his bracelet. ”I'd like that.”

Minseok grins and asks what he's doing the next morning.

 

Apology coffee turns into coincidentally-seeing-one-another-inthe-hall-and-offering-a-passing-invitation coffee which becomes lunch when they sit and talk too long. Casual lunch evolves into casual drinks with friends and then drinks alone after dinner, dinner at home dates, cooking together dates...

And so here they are, many months later. Thanks to a sense of loneliness and a rule allowing cats, Minseok met Jongin, and Jongin met Minseok. 

He can't imagine letting anyone else sit on his kitchen counter.

“What're you smiling about?” Jongin asks. He's hugging Minseok with his arms over his shoulders and legs around his butt, feet hooked together.

“You.” Minseok kisses him again. 

“Any particular reason?” 

“Yeah. Tan rubs along the lower cabinets, meowing softly before meandering to a sunbeam angling across the floor. “I love you.”

Jongin kisses him again and laughs, pleased.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind-of sort-of tried a different way of writing. It feels like a shortcut, but I was honestly rather lost when not writing about Tan. She's the star here; the others are just bit players.


End file.
